i want to grow old together

i was watching the duggars the other night, you know the show with the 18 kids, this particular episode was about grandpa duggar dying. i was so touched by this episode, but not for the normal reasons i guess. they showed old clips of grandma duggar taking care of him, feeding him, washing him, taking care of him however he needed. i was so touched, it made wonder if that's how me and benji would be. would i love him so much that i could feed him, bath him, care for him. i know i could, but sometimes i wonder how? on those days when i want to run the other way, when i don't feel the love from benji, when he hasn't done what i think is enough or his part in our marriage. when our love life seems to be measured by our intense feeling, on the romantic stuff, on the ooey, gooey things. i always thought i would rather have passion, the real fire, the can't keep our hands off of each other kind of marriage, but as i watched the show, i realized this is what i wanted. i want to grow old together, take care of each other, even when it's not pretty, or romantic. no i want more, that deep friendship, that strong foundation, a love that takes up my whole being. to really have a mind set to put the other first. that as we get older, things are going to fade out, but what counts is the years of building we put into our marriage. it's funny, i've lived most of my life wanting those "new years" in a realationship, the ones where you would do anything for the object of your affection, you know the exciting times, the long phone calls, the love notes,i've tried to recreate them, but honestly i think i want the "old years" i want to live a long life with the man i love, hold hands, and talk about the good old years, take care of each other with a love that can't be shaken. i want to grow old together, to make him proud, of the love i have given him. these are the years that matter, the years leading up to our "old years"