heavy hearted

my heart is heavy tonight, maybe due to the book i've been reading, then i keep hearing news of a horrible tragedy, and it's all made me just feel sad. sad to live in a world, we are no longer designed to live in. a world full of hurt and sadness. why do these things have to happen, why do we have to be scared, to live in a world that we must lock our doors, or have pain that can't be explained. i mean i know why, sin, but at the same time, it makes me wonder. were not suppose to fear, because God will protect us, i know this, but what about those moments, that protection doesn't matter? what about the preacher that got shot in his own church? i know it all will work out for the greater good, and the preacher is in heaven, the best place to be. but i guess tonight, this world just feels lost, hopeless, full of awful things, it just makes me want to skip this life, and go to the life i was intended for. a life full of His glory. i want to believe nothing bad will ever happen to me or my family, but in this life there are guarantee's. we sin and a sinful world has pain, a free world has pain. i just pray that me and my family are protected, that fear would not camp out in here, but we would know that no matter what comes our way, His glory will always be greater. tonight i'm sad, and i'm sorry i am, but it's my heart, a heavy heart, a heart that i'm handing over to Him to protect, restore, and give me peace. i can't do it alone, tomorrow i may have the strenth, tomorrow i may have joy, but tonight i have tears. tears for others, tears of not understanding, but i know i don't have to, i just have to trust, that no-matter what, He is God. He put me here, for a life to live, i guess it's just hard, i keep wondering is this the world i really want to raise my family in, no it's not, i want something greater, and i hold on that He is the greater. we will meet up with Him one day, and i will know this is why i live. that at that moment, i will know this is the life i was intended for.