an unknown question, with a clear answer

hey open heart, where are you? i feel as though i can't figure out what my own heart wants right now, like my feelings are off, it's weird nothings bugging me, nothings making me unhappy, yet there is this longing, this constant, unhappieness so to say, that i need more, that i'm not doing all that i should be, but there is no answer, no heart crying out, longing for that something. instead i sit here a little confused, wondering did i shut myself off, did i train this heart to block somethings, and now i can't hear it all? am i so busy right now that i'm missing the clearest signs? I have no answers, and yet no questions that could directly lead me to finding the answers, just here, living this week, day in and day out, not feeling fulfilled, not feeling complete, or having the drive to get anywhere. Just a question of where do i go from here? Why my heart doesn't feel open, or filled, but instead borded up, with a lock on it, yet I don't understand how that board, or lock might have gotten there. I'm in a strange place, a place where I don't even understand me. Somethings not right, and I think that something is a someone...me, and there is only One who will answer, Who know's me better then myself, and i think it's time, I can't remove this, only He can, now it's just the time i let Him, time to let go, allow Him to show me what i'm holding on to, what it is that is blocking my way, I can't see, but He does, It's time to look through His eyes not my own, I have failed me, but He will not. The answer is Him, no matter what the question is, How will I make it today, by Him, How will this bill get paid, by Him, How will I forgive, by Him, How will i let go, by Him, no matter what the question is even the ones we don't know what we"re asking, everything is though Him and by Him.