Most of you know my dream was to become a "real" photographer, to step out and do it on my own. The dream was all answered that night a special someone (she wishes to remain anonymous, wanting the glory to only go to God) came to my house with much to my surprise bought me my first real camera, saying that God had asked her to do so, speaking over me to do what is with in my heart. I'll never forget that moment, no one had ever done anything like this for me before, and thinking back on that night, tears I can no longer hold back, we were in no position at the time to buy myself my own camera, and I'm not sure if we were, if I would have believed this was something I could really do. With her encouragement and God's words through her, the seed was planted and I began to believe. I hope she knows that I will never forget that night, I will never forget the words she said (well maybe some, because I was in complete shock and think I went into black out mode for a little bit), and the dream she awoken inside of of me.
I don't know how long it really took from that moment to really start acting on this dream, but for a while that is what is was a dream sitting on shelf with in my heart.
I remember stalking photographers websites, observing there work, wishing I could do something like that, I remember pictures of my boys that spoke so strongly to my heart, that I thought I could do this. I just remember how my heart longed for it, like it was a God given thing inside of me, crying to get out, but my problem was, and sometimes still is, I believe in God, his work, his words, it's just hard for me to believe in myself, I get easily discouraged, I doubt myself...another reason sometimes I know this is what I'm suppose to do.
This all lead up to a moment on facebook, a question to, at the moment was a friend from the past, I had been her facebook friend for a while, but for some reason didn't know what she had done for a living, until one day she posted pics of her new studio, it was amazing, it lead me to stalk her work too, and her work was and still amazing!! She has the most God given talent I have ever seen. I think I told her how amazing her work was, and how I had hoped to become a photographer, I asked her if I should go back to school and what ways should I go about learning to become a photographer, I had no idea how to work my camera, no idea about shutter speak, and f stops, and all the lingo that I can grasp now. I never forget what she said, why don't I come and visit her, a few days with a real photographer I would learn way more then sitting in classes for semesters. I never would have thought she would say that, and that the plans would actually come to pass.
So off I went to Milwaulkee, to see this past friend, who now is one of my dearest friends in the whole world, the famous Christine Plamann (as my kids call her) not just because she has given me everything I needed to start this passion of mine, not just because she shares the same passion as me, not just because she's the one I go to for all my photography questions, but because she's the most amazing friend, selfless, caring, and true to who she is. I've visited her a couple of times, and I've grown close to her kids, that I love like my own, she has the most amazing husband that I consider a friend to, they will forever be the reason I am where I am today. I couldn't be where I am with out the words of encouragement, seeing past the amateur work I did (and am still working on), gifts that I can't even begin to name, because she has given me way to many, the education behind my work, the hours of time she has invested into me, I always want her to know how grateful I am, how blessed I feel because of her! She is a gift from God.
I even got to take pics of her family, for her to teach me some new tricks about lighting, and I love the images
I love this family, like they are my own, I love that I see God in them, I see his words. My words will never be enough to tell them how much I appreciate everything they have done, but I pray that God will do more then enough for them.
So here I sit with this dream stronger then ever, but the only thing is it's awake, no longer sitting on a shelf inside my heart, it's active, alive, and on a mission. And all the glory goes to God!! With each step, each person He has chosen to speak, I sit here in awe of how He works, sometimes subtle, sometimes very clear, which ever way He chooses, I pray I hear and listen. I pray that I can give back the way I've been given, I pray that my work, my passion is in every one of my pictures, that in some little or even big way, a picture snapped, hung on a wall, displayed in all ways, points back to Him, and the beauty He has made in every moment.