at what ever cost

today brennan came home from a friends house, after spending the night and going to a birthday party, and something about him just wasn't right. so i asked him if everything was all right, he said yes. but something in me said there was something wrong. i asked again did something happen, he still said no, but he looked like he was going to cry. i persisted, brennan do you promise nothing is wrong, and he said yes. but still i knew something wasn't right, i know my child, maybe more so, God knew my child. so i stepped into him, grabbed his face with two hands, in a loving manner, and looked him in they eye, brennan if something is wrong, or you did something you can tell me anything. i promise i won't get mad, i love you, just tell me what is wrong. he broked down into tears and said, kids were making fun of him, my heart sank, he said and he stuck up for himself and called her names back. i know this isn't most people response, and maybe it wasn't right, but i said give me a high five, this stunned him. i said at what ever cost you stick up for yourself. see i believe that kids need to know it's o.k to stick up for themselves, to defend who they are, especially boys, they need to defend thier honor so to say(read wild at heart by John elderidge, not sure that's spelled right,and you may understand this a little more) then i asked him if he got into trouble, he said that an older girl came over, the kids cousin he had thought, and told him to stop, he tried to defend himself that she had been making fun of him too, but the girl had lied, and said she didn't say anything. i asked what was said, he said he couldn't remember. still crying at this point, and i almost was too, i told him that even though standing up for yourself is right, you can do it in a rightful way. by just saying i don't care what you say, or just leave me alone. I told him, if he hadn't made fun of her back, that he wouldn't have had to be corrected. that she couldn't have lied, and that we can make right choices with still standing up for ourselves. I told him that we choose to let people get to us, and if we choose to not let someone, we don't even know, bother us, they can't. but i also told him that it still hurts, words hurt. i went on to tell him when i was a kid, people made fun of me, and that people are going to mean, they are going to make fun, and we are going to get hurt, but that we can choose to do right, and try not letting them get to us. i told him a few stories about when i was a kid, and tried to relate to where he was at. I hugged him, told him how much i loved him, and that he can tell me anything no matter what, not to bottle things up, not to deal with things alone. i told him that no matter what he does, i will love him, no matter what, that he's going to make mistakes, he going to make wrong choices, but i know this, but we love him no matter what, we'll always love him, he can't do something to take that away, ever. after our conversation, we changed, he changed, he started talking to me, and hanging out with me. we played war (the card game) and i listened to his stories. i found out that he had made right choices while he was at his friends house, that this kids mother had told his friend (her child) to become more like brennan, i asked him why she said that, he told his friends they should help her carry things in, she was bringing in stuff from the car, and he had offered their services to help her. a few minutes later, he said he had gotten two dollars from his mom, for being honest. him and his friend were playing with a ball, and it knocked down some things from her shelves and broke, so he told his friend they needed to tell her what happened, she gave him the money for being honest. I don't know if this lady knows it, but i believe she showed God to my son, and when i get a chance i will thank her. I thank God for taking care of my son, when i am not around. using people to teach His love. how doing the right thing makes a difference. i thank God for putting that sence that something wasn't right, and allowing brennan to open up. i could have given up, but my kids are not worth given up on! i'm not sharing this to brag, after all i did give him a high five, but to share that our kids need us, they need us to pry, to question, to listen, to love no matter what. they need to know we are here to help and guide them.they need to know we relate to their lives, they need sucurity. they need to know it's o.k to make mistakes, that we don't expect them to be perfect, though sometimes our expectations tell them other wise. we need to pray, that God is always taking care of them, protecting, loving, rewarding. they need us.